phantasmagoric abstractions

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Aisha Diandra / photographer. artist. designer. likes to dress up & pose, not a model. horror aficionado.
This blog is for my art, expression, inspiration, ramblings & everything in between.
I like the strange & spooky, beautiful & sensual, surreal & grotesque. contradictions fascinate me.

(the photos above are my own work.)

#Aisha Diandra

Come support me and other local creatives at Kemang Icon every Saturday!

Starting Next Saturday, 25 January, I will be regularly displaying my photography, art, and Dearly Departed Designs accessories at Kemang Klub’s POOL PARTY event. 

Anything I display will be available for purchase, and there will be other artists & designers showcasing their creations too.

So if you’re in Jakarta on a Saturday, come on by and have a drink, look at & buy some work, listen to local DJs, and take a dip in the pool if you’re up for it!

trashdolls:

Gif of Phantasma playing in feathers :p

Holy shit! I got a gif made of me playing in feathers in the Open Letter video by The Amity Affliction. 
I feel so honoured to have been ‘giffed’! XD

trashdolls:

Gif of Phantasma playing in feathers :p

Holy shit! I got a gif made of me playing in feathers in the Open Letter video by The Amity Affliction. 

I feel so honoured to have been ‘giffed’! XD

Photography, lighting, editing, concept, all that work by Hiroshima Photography / Pilin Goodsell

Model/MUA is me.

Styling by both of us.

I quite enjoyed spending several hours of my day half naked and sticky with the uber talented Pilin. ;)

I hate thinking about my New Year’s resolutions…

…because I tend to fail at keeping them. However, 2012 has been such a headfuck of a year, with half of it involving me feeling like absolute shit, feeling too upset to leave the house and too anxious to do anything. 

I want to try my hardest to grab 2013 by its metaphorical balls and do my best to not let depression and anxiety get in the way of doing things.

By the end of the year I want to be confident with how I look, or at least comfortable enough with my body that I can fake confidence all the time, instead of just every now and then.

I want to give up some of my bad habits or at least seriously minimise them, and completely revamp my diet and eating habits so I can get skinny, healthier, fitter and less flabby…less processed food, more raw food and veggies.

On that note, I’m going to aim to run more, because as much as it’s a mission to get me to go for a run, I find it therapeutic after about 10 minutes, and I can keep going out of psychological motivation. I *WILL* have a body I like more, and I know it’s going to cost more time and effort on my part.

I really need to start caring less about things that aren’t that important, and stop stressing about things that aren’t that bad.

I need to stop wasting time and being more productive with my free time, even if it’s just reading a book or doing sketches, as long as I’m not spending hours browsing facebook.

That’s a fuck lot to commit to. But I suppose a lot of them overlap each other…so…we’ll see how I go…

Bring it on 2013…

Things I really fail at:

Saving money.

Cleaning my room, but more so keeping it clean.

Detoxing.

Dieting. (Always end up having an epic binge day that throws me off the healthy eating wagon…)

Listening to my own reasoning & logic.

Listening to my own advice that I give to people.

Making any consistent self confidence last longer than [current record!] 2 days.

If a girl has a lot of sex, even with several people, that doesn’t automatically make her slut.

If she does so without any standards, morals, or class (i.e., sleeping with someone’s partner when she knows they’re together & not caring, not having any standards and just fucking anything that moves, talking about it like it’s the only thing you have to talk about, bragging about it, hurting people in the process, etc.), then you could maybe call her a “slut”.

If she does but has standards, doesn’t fuck just anyone, doesn’t talk about it constantly for no reason or brag about it…isn’t hurting/affecting anyone with what she does, then she’s not a slut, just a girl who has a lot of sex. 

I don’t like slut shaming and I think even if a girl is a “slut”, if it’s not directly affecting YOUR life, why care enough to call her a slut? 

How a girl dresses, acts, talks, presents herself does not automatically make her a slut. 

A facebook friend put this together for me because apparently Draculaura & I look very alike haha.
^____^ I actually love getting the Monster High comparison. Those dolls are freaking adorable. I wish I had them growing up instead of regular old Barbies.
I can be Draculaisha.
Next dress up party…I think I know who I’m going as. I just need a wig…and fangs.

A facebook friend put this together for me because apparently Draculaura & I look very alike haha.

^____^ I actually love getting the Monster High comparison. Those dolls are freaking adorable. I wish I had them growing up instead of regular old Barbies.

I can be Draculaisha.

Next dress up party…I think I know who I’m going as. I just need a wig…and fangs.

 

"PSYCHE"
Final folio series based on the concept of Chakras & Carl Jung’s dream archetypes.


I. THE ROOT CHAKRA : 
Location: Base of spine. / Colour: Red.  / Sense: Smell. / Element: Earth.
Physical Identity, Self-Preservation, Survival.
Stability, deep-rootedness, trust, reality, sexuality, physical health, courage, impulsiveness, and passion. 
Standing up for oneself and security issues.
Associated animal is the elephant.

THE ANIMUS ARCHETYPE: The masculine personality traits in a female. Develops logic, opinions, courage, and intent. Negative side of animus leads to incorrect judgements. Symbolism includes an eagle, a bull, a lion, and phallic objects.

+++

II. THE SACRAL CHAKRA : 
Location: Lower abdomen. / Colour: Orange.  / Sense: Touch & taste. / Element: Water.
Emotional Identity, Self-gratification, Feelings: the right to feel and to want.
Sexuality, sensuality, desires, emotions, pleasure, freedom, procreation, polarity, and movement. 
Associated animal is the crocodile.

THE ANIMA ARCHETYPE: The feminine, emotional, and intuitive side of a male’s unconscious. Develops emotionality, leading to greater spirituality. Anima appears in dreams when a man is neglecting his feminine side. It has a wise & good side, and a negative side often symbolised by seductresses, sirens, prostitutes, or witches.

+++

III. THE SOLAR CHAKRA : 
Location: Solar plexus. / Colour: Yellow.  / Sense: Sight. / Element: Fire.
Ego Identity, Self-Definition, Personal power.
Will, knowledge, mental clarity, optimism, self-control, awareness, self-esteem, responsibility, purpose, willpower, and spontaneity.
Associated animal is the ram.

THE HERO ARCHETYPE: Represents the psyche’s quest for individuation, and the ability to overcome obstacles & achieve certain goals. Can be seen as a road map towards the rational conscious mind triumphing over the animalistic unconscious mind. Dreams of a hero defeating evil can symbolise the defeat of a negative aspect of the unconscious.

+++

IV. THE HEART CHAKRA : 
Location: Heart/chest. / Colour: Green.  / Sense: Touch. / Element: Air.
Social Identity, Self-acceptance, Relationships: the right to love.
Love, self-love, self-control, forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, intimacy, balance, growth, beauty, grace, femininity, harmony, grounding, prosperity, trust, devotion, renewal, and peace.
Associated animal is the antelope/deer.

THE GREAT MOTHER/GODDESS ARCHETYPE: The embodiment of all feminine aspects, mystery and power - suggesting a woman’s total wholeness. Personified in many ways, often as a nature goddess/earth mother with the ability to infinitely give motherly care, help, and protect. Can have a dark side- seen as a mother who devours her young & dominates loved ones. Other symbols include Eve & Mary in Western tradition; church, nation, forest, or ocean.

+++

V. THE THROAT CHAKRA : 
Location: Throat. / Colour: Blue, turquoise.  / Sense: Hearing. / Element: Ether/Space.
Creative Identity, Self-expression, Communication: the right to speak & hear the truth.
Learning to express oneself, the ability to trust, loyalty, organisation, self-discipline, speaking the truth, wisdom, speech, creative expression, expansion, and healing.
Associated animals are the white elephant and peacock.

THE WISE OLD MAN (& WOMAN) ARCHETYPE: Represents one’s mana personality - the primordial energy that can help one grow & transform, or even destroy. Appears in dreams as a figure of authority & guidance (magician/wizard, doctor, priest, father, teacher), and can have & give magical or healing powers. It is a source of inspiration & understanding, guiding the individual on their quest for growth.

++

VI. THE THIRD EYE CHAKRA : 
Location: Forehead centre/brow. / Colour: Indigo.  / Sense: Intuition (the sixth sense). / Element: Light.
Archetypal Identity, Self-reflection, Intuition: the right to “see”.
Trusting insight, developing psychic abilities, and releasing hidden and repressed negative thoughts. 
Self-realisation, invention, imagination, psychic abilities & perception, understanding, memory, fearlessness, clear seeing, and use of mind/intellect.
Associated animals are the black antelope and swan..

THE DIVINE CHILD ARCHETYPE: A symbol of the developing personality, this archetype represents a reviving force that leads one toward wholeness - Individuation & the true self, our full potential. Both vulnerable, yet at the same time untouchable, with a strong power to transform.

+++

VII. THE CROWN CHAKRA : 
Location: Crown of skull. / Colour: Violet, white, gold, silver.  / Element: Thought.
Universal Identity, Self-knowledge, Knowingness: the right to know & aspire.
Spiritual awakening & connection the concept of a higher power. 
Merging one’s consciousness & unconsciousness into the superconsciousness. Divine consciousness & trusting the universe, searching for meaning, karma, and grace.
Wisdom, inspiration, charisma, awareness, higher self, meditation, self-sacrifice, potential, purity, limitlessness, bliss, spirituality, vision, and ascension.

THE SELF ARCHETYPE: Archetype of wholeness & potential. The realised product of Individuation, when one’s psyche has been fully unified. The unconscious & conscious are one, all conflicting elements of personality are balanced & integrated. 
Symbolism includes holy figures/gurus or gods, saintly animals, and religious/spiritual symbols. 

/////

{CREDITS}
*All lighting, photography, retouching, editing, research & paraphrased text by me.*

1. Model: Jay Dee. MUA: me. Horns handmade by me. 
2. Model/MUA: Dawn Dee Christian. Styling by me. 
3. Model: Vladimir Barski. MUA/Hair: me. Horns handmade by me.
4. Model/MUA: Luna Trash. Styling: me.
5. Model: Felix Couture. MUA: Bec Campbell.
6. Model/Hair: Charlotte Miss Twisted. MUA/Styling: me
7. Model/hair: Dylan Peck. MUA/Styling: me. 

Thanks SO much to everyone involved!! Highly appreciated. This was a pretty big project for me & I could not have pulled it off pretty much exactly how I planned it without your help. :)

PSYCHE books will be available as an e-book download soon (higher resolution, unwatermarked, full pages & text). I’ll also get books printed if there is enough demand for it.

Last week was intense.

I had to perform all 3 days at the 2nd Melbourne Tattoo & Body Art Expo. I was performing a group show with 3 other TrashDolls, and doing a few pole tricks.

This was terrifying because I had never ever performed dancing that wasn’t traditional Indonesian dance (and I was 13 the last time I did that), and I have only been doing pole dancing for roughly 4 months, and never practiced (until that week leading up to the expo), and I had never pole danced in front of an audience.
…also I was sick all week and got even sicker on the weekend. 

I completely bombed my part on Sunday due to being drained and not having enough food in me to soak up the painkillers I had to take. Pretty embarrassed and disappointed in myself, but at least it’s motivated me to practice more pole and work on strength so if I ever have to do that again I won’t fail at it. 

I feel pretty good about having managed to do it though. I never would have thought I could. 

So far I have a mostly free week, until Saturday when I am modelling for Necrolillitha at the Catwalk Carnival. Spent today sleeping in and recovering. I am sore all over. 

I give up on not being busy.

I’ll admit it. I am too self absorbed right now for a boyfriend.

I am too concerned with my life, what I’m doing with it, where it’s taking me, what I’m doing after uni, visa issues, how I can change my body so that I don’t hate myself as much (turning into a gym junkie…), etc etc, to worry about someone else besides myself right now, because trying to sort out my own life is stressful enough.

"DYSCRASIA" 

Dyscrasia is a concept from ancient Macedonian medicine, meaning the imbalance of the four humours (bodily fluids): blood, black bile, yellow bile, and phlegm (water). The idea of Humourism was adapted by Greek and Roman physicians who believed that too little or too much of any of the four humours influenced a person’s temperament, physique, and health/well-being.

BLOOD : “SANGUINE” Temperament

Season: Spring
Element: Air
Qualities: Warm & moist

Most attractive virtue/temperament – courageous, hopeful, amorous; feeling of joy, mirth, optimism, enthusiasm, affection. Indulgent, sensual, confident, lighthearted.

Imbalance of blood = mania, irresponsible, gluttonous, inebriate, lustful. 

xx

YELLOW BILE : “CHOLERIC” Temperament

Season: Summer
Element: Fire
Qualities: Warm & dry

Digestive virtue. Hottest, most active and destructive temperament. Provokes & excites passions. Prone to anger, impatience, irritability, short temper. Bold, courageous, confronting, ambitious. Dramatic, extreme, driven.

Imbalance of yellow bile = violent, vengeful behaviour; jealousy & envy, rage. 

xx

BLACK BILE : “MELANCHOLIC” Temperament

Season: Autumn
Element: Earth
Qualities: Cold & dry

Retentive virtue. Contrary to Sanguine – most problematic. Pensive, withdrawn, prudent, cautious, realistic, pragmatic, pessimistic, narcissistic, gloomy, sullen.

Imbalance of black bile = irritability, anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, self loathing, moodiness. 

xx

PHLEGM (WATER) : “PHELGMATIC” Temperament

Season: Winter
Element: Water
Qualities: Cold & moist

Expulsive virtue. Coldest temperament, constructive. Passive, lethargic, subjective, devoted, emotional, sensitive, and sentimental. Spiritual, calm, relaxed, patient, sympathetic.

Imbalance of phlegm = unemotional, apathetic, excessive laziness, depression.

xx

Many thanks to my models for being such good sports. Really, really appreciated it. Models are: Lena Kitteh (blood), Dolly Trash (yellow bile), Alyssa Warland (black bile), Kerry X (phlegm). 

candied-tentacles:

‎”Living Nightmares” - Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder).
Part of a series shot with Aisha Diandra (Photographer & Artist) (or you can find her on Tumblr as Aishaphantasma)
The concept behind this shoot was to capture a mental illness in a photograph. It is part of a series which Aisha is working on for uni currently.


oh hey, it’s my work. ;D 
I’ll get around to posting this series on my own tumblr soon…

candied-tentacles:

‎”Living Nightmares” - Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder).

Part of a series shot with Aisha Diandra (Photographer & Artist) (or you can find her on Tumblr as Aishaphantasma)

The concept behind this shoot was to capture a mental illness in a photograph. It is part of a series which Aisha is working on for uni currently.

oh hey, it’s my work. ;D

I’ll get around to posting this series on my own tumblr soon…

my life.

have time to go out, party, and have fun - but feeling too depressed and anxious to leave the house so I become a hermit and barely see anyone. 

barely have time to do anything with uni finishing so soon, and a shitload of work to do - really fucking keen to go out, party, and have fun.

well, at least the money I save from going out is going to buying myself pretty things…

u______u

this week was terrible for the most part, but I promised myself I’d do a weekly positive review, so…

Things that didn’t suck this week:

1. I got 3 out of 4 shoots done for my Dyscrasia series, and I did some shots for my Psyche (working title) series.

2. I finally got round to updating my artist page on facebook, and have received pretty good feedback on it, as well as people volunteering to model for my folio work.

3. Pseudoephedrine + codeine cold & flu meds.

4. Was too sick to attend Thursday’s pole class, so I went to one on Saturday, and managed to get on the pole upside down by myself, even though my mounting wasn’t perfect. 

5. Restored some of the fun & silly music from my youth onto my iTunes. Oh, pop punk & nu metal, you remind me of the days when my worst problems would be commonplace in my life today.

6. 70 people on Facebook liked the photo of my backside from Carpe Noctum, haha, cool, my bum must be decent?

I can’t think of much else…and only a few of these are very significant…but at least I tried!

Totally fell off the diet & fitness wagon this week, but determined to get back on it tomorrow. Still a little unwell, so I won’t be able to go back into exercising too hardcore just yet, but I just need to get back into the habit!